I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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