You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
