As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
