Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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