I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
