you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
