Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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