After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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