I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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