I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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