he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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