You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
