I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
