Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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