im drinking this country out of the recession.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
