they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
