Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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