I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
