Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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