i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
