Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
how drunk are you?
Several
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
