there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
