Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
