Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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