I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
