I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
