smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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