i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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