I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize