Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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