Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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