I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
