Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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