i think my tv is drunk
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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