ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you inspire me to be a worse person
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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