I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
