So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize