you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
