I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
