your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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