So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I currently don't understand fingers.
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