Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so let's talk penis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
