We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
