Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
