just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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