Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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