capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I have vodka in my lungs
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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