put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
