I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
