Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
