some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
