Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
