dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
