Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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